Good night, John Tesh

I say a lot of random stuff to my wife.

50% of what comes out of my mouth is my mind causing words to happen without me really noticing. It’s like the “E. Peterbus Unum” episode of Family Guy where Peter is rambling about Special K, wondering what they do with all the regular K, commenting on how mallard sounds like Ballard when you have a cold, and when Brian asks if he listens to himself talk he replies “I drift in and out.” That pretty much sums it up. Laura likes it because I keep her laughing.

Many nights ago as we laid down to bed, she said “Sleep well, best friend.”
I replied “Good night, John Tesh,” and gave her a kiss.

Last night as she rubbed creams and potions on her pregnant belly, she asked if I could do some laundry today. I said maybe, but I’d be busy putting ice in my bum.
“That is not what you will be doing,” she said.
“Sure it is, I love putting ice in my bum,” I replied.
“You do not.”
“I do,” I said. “I like to pack in a whole bunch of ice cubes and spank myself with a cookie sheet until they shatter. It feels great.”
“Let’s go to sleep now, dear.”
“OK, Michigan State University.”

It’s pretty obvious why I love her.


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