Laura and I have not yet had the honor of having kids. I don’t have a sibling, I’m not close with most of my extended family, and I can’t pretend to understand the bond formed with a life you have created. Or the agony of having that bond severed.
I am sitting here wrapping my final Christmas presents for my wife, a woman trying desperately to have a child, and it’s causing sadness. I keep thinking of all the presents sitting under trees in Connecticut that no longer have a recipient. About all the stockings that are hanging with nobody to dig through them. About all the families that will have to unwrap those gifts. About all their plans and celebrations that will be spoiled and forever impossible. About how a season full of bright lights and happy colors will be buried by the most intense darkness. And about how it’s hard to even comprehend what any of that truly means.
Today was full of online discussion about violence, gun laws and mental health. They’re all real issues. They’re all things that need talked about and worked on – particularly mental health. But I find it a very challenging discussion for sane people to have. A sane person can’t truly grasp the idea of a mind that would tell someone murdering lots of children is a good idea. And we can’t consult the “formerly sane,” the way an ex-drug dealer becomes a great undercover cop and works to protect people and enforce the law. It doesn’t happen like that.
But I hope we can figure something out.
The truth is there is no hell/punishment/retribution/whatever powerful enough for the person responsible, and I hope everyone impacted can seek the help and comfort they need from the people in their lives. In the upcoming weeks of family togetherness and fellowship, you have a whole country of people who will be sharing a sympathetic heart with you.