You make depression look like a half-decent gig

Watch this commercial:

Hey Abilify, if you’re trying to make depression seem like something people need to overcome, maybe you shouldn’t make it look so damn comfortable.

I mean holy crap, look how awesome that robe is.  It’s blue, it’s fluffy, and it has an adorable little pair of googly eyes that is always there by her side.  Way cute.  It may suffer from a little separation anxiety when she leaves the house, but so what?  If being depressed means I get to wrap myself up in this amazing robe and lounge around all day with a bottle of wine and vases full of beautiful flowers while watching CSI reruns and waiting until my next psychiatric appointment where some doctor who looks like Ben Stein silently stands still with his arms crossed next to a video of himself talking about depression, sign me up!  That’s a far more interesting life than my current day-to-day.

Just saying.  You make depression look like a half-decent gig.

It might be a little more convincing if you actually made life look better for the person after taking your medication.

Once she starts popping her pills and decides to go hang out on the hammock with Conan O’Brien, the robe is still there!  It’s right beside her watching her in plain sight, like some sick  mutated open-mouth version of Grover waiting to write a sequel to The Lovely Bones with her body parts.  It’s as if you’re saying to the consumer “Don’t get too cozy you lousy bum, this son of a bitch is right around the corner.  We can keep him at bay with plastic lawn furniture, but only if you eat these pills for the rest of your life.  He is always ready to let you slip back inside him.”

That would feel good for him.

And you can’t ignore the girl who creeps into the corner of the frame and starts taking pictures of the lady and her man while another weirdo leans on their tree like some street tough about to slice the hammock down and signal a gang to pop from those watercolor bushes and beat them with a pipe.  I don’t know why these people are in the scene.  Being less depressed doesn’t cause the populous to flock to your lawn.  The girl is clearly not depresso’s child or anything, unless she had a one-night stand on a business trip to the Arab Peninsula twenty years ago.  Being cozy and comfy and safe and hanging out with Ben Stein looked way better than trying to be cheerful in the shadows of these lunatics.

I guess the point of advertising is to get your message stuck in people’s heads.  Well, it just might – but know that if I ever get depressed, I’m going to remember this commercial and stick with microfiber and Sutter Home and Spike TV to help me level out.



2 thoughts on “You make depression look like a half-decent gig”

    1. Well, they did have to try and watch two doctors for no reason. There’s a lot to absorb between the one’s words and the other’s facial gestures.

      The robe is totally talented and she just wants it to go away. Rude.

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