This magical tool escaped me

Sometimes I forget to pay attention.

Apparently this has existed for years but I just found out about it today: That can be my next tweet.  It looks through your tweets and comes up with things you might say based on what you’ve said.  Or something.  That’s what it implies it does.  Really it just mashes together bits of your past tweets to form crap sentences that occasionally equal something humorous.  It’s like insanely lazy Mad Libs for people who don’t even want to come up with their own words.  And while none of the things it suggested were actually made into a tweet, it did basically write a blog post for me.

Who knew I say vagina so often?

One thing is for sure – The software wants me to be a well-rounded individual.  It provided tweets appropriate for a wide variety of conversation topics.

 

Music and Entertainment:

Kinect Arcade coming up.  The Crysis suit has indeed been in my mouth.
I enjoy jazz flutes. They aren’t just here… See you sir.
Sounds fun. Haha, I enjoy jazz flutes. They aren’t just played loudly for a chocolate bar.
Glad to see MidOhio Comic Con this weekend because I’m a toilet in short bursts.
Good News: Pittsburgh never gets anything interesting. And thanks for the Futurecast. Again. Still sick.
Zombie Strippers is not real cute.


Sexual Harassment:

Coworker just suck it down.
Totally looking forward to a mouth…. I’ve been wondering how exciting my mouth is.
Thinking about how long my wife is.
My Wife Dude… get her vagina. This is almost here. Coworker just said he wants a toilet in the woods?
Only 4 hours before I toothed the vagina guy.
Very, very awesome …but the office got right to her vagina.
Everybody wants a girl with black licorice inappropriately.

Animals:
I totally might have an incredibly important piece of something to see 8 stink bugs inside.
Boobs on my dogs look like fast food.

Pop Culture and The Internet:
A tremendous headache and the public could be a really important piece of Gary Oldman.
I haven’t been in their lungs? OMG, new followers on my lap.
Thanks T-pain. Work is dull.
Dear Pandora: I have to say it’s a full 24 hours before I forgive you. Big hugs. With my wife opened.

Food & Drink:
Thinking about decaf coffee, then let’s make stories…
Holy crinkled crap these things are sweet. Skeet Reese is in my mouth.

Philosophy & Should-Be Fortune Cookies:
Today is almost here.
Everybody wants a toothed vagina. This is a perfect use your daydreams.
I just farted as enthusiastic ridiculousness. The day for resurrecting that feeling.
Meh… Go eat the public.
I keep this real fortune cookie in my lap.

Things and Headlines:
Apparently Depends are Sweet.
Good News: Pittsburgh never an old west saloon
My mom always told to introduce my partially-written novels on apples.

Things that sound like misquoted internet memes from 10 years ago:
It is Paul & Storm’s fault. Alright, come on. Let’s just can’t do you can’t do you use your time.

Get all my finest tweets @cryanathus.

This post collects soup cans.  This post has nine felt pens.  This post can bray like an ass.  This post is fat.

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